The CSI Rules
by thementalist2
Summary: CSIs can sometimes get a little immature. Inside lies a list of things they cannot do. This is pure humor. If you have an idea for a rule, PM me! I'd be glad to hear your thoughts. Mostly one-shots. Main characters in the chapters will be listed in the chapter titles.
1. Nick, Greg, Sara

***A/N: I read a story all about the Criminal Minds profilers who had 101 rules that they had to follow. I wanted to see how it work with our favorite CSIs. I don't know how many chapters this will be, but I hope it will be more than 40. If you have an idea for a rule, feel free to shoot me a private message or review.* **

Nick Stokes was so bored at work that he couldn't find anything to do. There were no cases to solve and everyone was busy relaxing. Except for Russell, who was doing something in his office for Ecklie.

Nick decided to have some fun with one of Grissom's spiders and scare Sara. But he knew that Russell would kill him if he destroyed one of Grissom's precious bugs and animals.

So, Nick had to come up with plan B. Taking out a fake spider, he walked into Hodges's lab and pulled out some foam to make it look like the spider was real. The CSI knew that Sara was on her lunch break with Finlay, and the two of them wouldn't be back for another 15 minutes. He walked over to Sara's desk and put the spider in the top drawer. He waited for his unsuspecting victim to arrive back from lunch.

Greg and Hodges were in the break room drinking coffee, when they noticed Nick smiling. They walked over to their best friend.

"Why are you smiling?" Greg asked.

"Because I put a spider in Sara's desk and I want to see her reaction," the Texan replied.

"It's not real, is it?"

"Of course not; it's just a fake one stuffed with foam to make it look real."

"You just disturbed me. I'm never going to be able to look at a spider the same again."

"Ssh, here she comes!" Nick whispered.

He and his two co workers pretended to be engaged in conversation about what they we were doing after work that night.

Sara came into the building and sat down at her desk, looking exhausted. She pulled out a case file and opened the top drawer of her desk. She jumped out of her chair and screamed loudly. It was so loud that several other lab techs came out of their labs and stared at the Level 3 CSI.

Even Russell came out of his office to see what the commotion was.

"WHO PUT A SPIDER IN MY DESK?" she screamed.

The guys began cracking up at the sight of Sara's red face.

"NICK, I'M GOING TO KILL YOU FOR THIS!"

She began chasing Nick around the building with the fake spider in her hand. The chase ended abruptly after Nick stumbled into Hodges's lab and knocked over a test run with Halothane gas for anesthesia, causing him to become drugged and accidently yelled at Russell under the influence. Then, everyone knew why it was a bad idea to prank your friends when they were having a bad day.

**Rule 1: Nick is not allowed to put fake spiders in Sara's desk. Especially when she's having a bad day. **


	2. Sara, Nick

Sara was sitting at her desk, carefully planning on how to get back at Nick for putting the fake spider in her desk. She knew that he loved eating chocolate bars, and once she saw him arrive at work and put his lunch in the fridge, she knew that it was the perfect opportunity to get her revenge.

After Nick left the room to apologize to Russell for yelling at him, she quickly headed into the break room and found Nick's bag of semisweet chocolate bars. She reached into her lunch bag and pulled out her own chocolate bars. She replaced Nick's chocolate bars with her own, and couldn't wait to see his reaction as he ate the chocolate.

Sara sat next to Finlay and Morgan at lunch while Nick sat with Henry, Russell, Greg, and Hodges. Doc Robbins was at the hospital visiting his sick wife and David Phillips was on vacation until tomorrow.

Nick took a bite of his chocolate bar and immediately spit it out into the bag.

"SOMEONE SWITCHED MY CHOCOLATE FROM SEMISWEET TO BITTERSWEET!" he muttered. He noticed that Sara couldn't stop laughing.

"Payback for putting the spider in my desk," she said.

The rest of the team burst out laughing.

**Rule 2: If someone brings semisweet chocolate bars, do not replace them with bittersweet bars.**


	3. Greg, Morgan, Hodges, Finlay

It was another slow day at the Crime Lab. Shift was ending soon and the team minus Russell was completely bored. Hodges said that he would set up a TV show in his lab.

Five minutes later, Greg is laughing his head off at something on Hodges's laptop. Sara and Finlay entered the lab and found that Greg was watching _Person of Interest._

"Is that _Person of Interest_?" Sara asked. "That's my favorite show. I record it, then watch it Wednesday morning when I get home."

"Reese is mine," Finlay said. "He's so good-looking."

"Hey, it's my favorite show, so I get to decide who gets Reese," Sara shot back.

"Ladies, come on, I need to show you both this," Hodges interrupted the two women.

The rest of the team minus Russell and Ecklie crowded around Hodges's computer and began watching the episode.

Reese was busy chasing a drug smuggler throughout Manhattan with his partner Fusco behind him.

"I missed this episode!" Sara exclaimed.

Finally, Reese managed to get on a tour bus and shot the drug smuggler in the kneecap from 40 feet away.

"Oh my- that was the best shot ever!" Morgan said. "We should re enact it."

Nick headed into the weapons room and pulled out a handgun and an AK-47. Both he and Greg checked to make sure that there were silencers on both weapons and did not contain any bullets. Instead, the guns were filled with marshmallows.

Nick volunteered to take the shot, and Finlay decided that she would play the part of the drug dealer.

Greg measured 40 feet from where Nick was standing, and once Finlay had crossed the line, Nick took the shot with the handgun...and perfectly hit her kneecap, causing her to fall onto the ground.

"Perfect re enactment!" Sara said.

Russell came out of his office and saw his Assistant Supervisor getting up off the ground. She and Nick began firing marshmallows at each other, which caused the rest of the CSIs to join the fight.

The fight ended when Sara broke one of Russell's windows with a marshmallow. Then, everyone understood why it was not a great idea to shoot each other with marshmallows.

**Rule 3: Watching _Person of Interest_ and attempting to kneecap someone with a gun that shoots marshmallows is forbidden at all times.**


	4. Hodges, Henry, Russell

***A/N: This chapter is dedicated to my best friend NateTheGreatIsGreat, who suggested this idea to me.***

It was a normal Friday evening, with only 20 minutes of Shift remaining. Hodges and Henry had been working on planning a prank.

Henry ran out of his lab and towards to his car. But Russell stopped him.

"Where are you going?" the Supervisor asked.

"I'm going to go to the store to get potatoes. Hodges said that there were traces of potatoes at the crime scene, and we're going to re enact it," Henry replied.

"Ok."

The DNA tech quickly ran out to his car and headed to the grocery store. People stared at him because he was still wearing his work jacket.

Within three minutes, Henry had a five-pound bag of potatoes in the passenger seat of his car. He quickly started the car and arrived back at the lab.

Hodges saw his co-worker enter the Trace Lab with the bag of potatoes. He opened the bag and inserted one potato into the barrel of the gun. He took the gun and walked into the hallway. Lining the gun up with Greg's empty glass bottle, he aimed...and fired, knocking the glass perfectly off the table.

"50 points!" Henry shouted.

Hodges then inserted another potato into the barrel...and shot it into Russell's trash can, startling the Supervisor.

"100 points for me!" Hodges shouted.

A slightly angry Russell came out of his office.

"Run!" Hodges shouted, signaling for Henry to do the same.

"ANDREWS AND HODGES, GET BACK HERE!" Russell shouted.

The two lab techs never looked back. And then they realized that shooting potato guns was not the best way to end a shift.

**Rule 4: Potato guns are banned.**


	5. Morgan, Greg, Russell, Henry, Hodges

Henry had earned the nickname 'The Prank Master' after Greg had seen his co-worker shoot potatoes out of a gun. He remembered a couple of old pranks that were funny every time they happened. But he was going to need some help from Greg.

After returning from a crime scene, Henry walked into the room where Greg and Morgan were discussing the case.

"Do you guys have a minute?" the DNA tech asked.

Greg turned to Morgan. "I'll bet you 15 bucks that what he's about to say has nothing to do with the case."

"It's on," Morgan replied.

"I have a hilarious prank that I want to do to Russell, but I need some help because it involves computers."

"You owe me," Greg smirked. Turning to Henry, he said, "What do you need with a computer?"

"Do you know the scary face prank?"

"YES! I've seen it, and I know how to set it up," Greg replied.

"That's what I was going to ask you."

"I'll have it set up within two minutes."

Henry met up with Russell, who was on his way to the office.

"I have the DNA results of the victim. It's Katie Marvin, a convicted bank robber," Henry said, handing his boss the folder.

"Alright, thanks," Russell replied. He walked into his office and shut the door.

"One thing down, one more to go," Henry said to himself. He ran into Hodges's office. "Hey, you got any Saran Wrap?"

"Yes, it's in the cupboard by the beakers," Hodges replied, smiling because he knew what his best friend was going to do.

Henry took the Saran Wrap and tore off a large piece, making sure it stretched across Russell's archway into his office.

The DNA tech ran back into Greg's office, where he and Morgan were watching the security camera feeds.

"Just a minute more and it will pop up on his screen," Greg said.

The three of them had the case file ready, along with some other info about the crime scene ready to be pulled up in case Russell walked in.

Meanwhile, in the boss's office, he was busy looking through his email, when all of a sudden, a scary face with blood popped up on his screen.

He jumped out of the chair screaming, "OH CRAP!"

He ran over to his door, opened it, and thought he would get farther away from the creepy face...but instead ran right into the Saran Wrap.

The two CSIs and DNA tech were laughing their heads off in the other room. Sara, Finn, Hodges, Nick, Phillips, and even Robbins heard the laughing and came to investigate what was so funny. Once Greg showed everyone the camera feed, they secretly agreed to blackmail Russell with the feed in case they were going to get in trouble.

But after rewatching the feed, Henry understood why it really was a bad idea to prank your boss.

**Rule 5: Henry is banned from asking Greg to put a scary face on Russell's computer and having him run into Saran Wrap on the way out of the office. **


	6. Morgan, Russell, Greg

***A/N: This is dedicated to Grodyforever.***

Greg and Morgan had been called into Russell's office for something important. The blond CSI noticed that her partner couldn't stop smiling.

"Why do you keep smiling? What's so funny?" she asked.

"I can't tell you. You're going to have to find out yourself."

The two CSIs entered their boss's office.

"419 in Reno. You're working with the FBI on this case. But, you're going to have to go undercover as a married couple. The killer is targeting blond and brunette couples," Russell said.

"Ok," both CSIs replied.

But Morgan noticed that Russell was smiling as well.

"Ok, what's the deal? Why do you both keep smiling? It's freaking me out."

"Nothing," Russell said. "Just thinking about something that happened to Greg."

"You're still angry at him for putting the scary face on your computer?"

"Ok, that was funny, but it scared the crap out of me. Anyway, go to the hotel. You have a case to solve."

Ten minutes later, Morgan and Greg arrived at the crime scene. She noticed that blood had been splattered on the walls, but when she took a closer look, and sniffed it, she determined that the substance was red paint.

"Greg, what is this? This is not blood. This is paint," Morgan said.

"Russell and I came up with a prank. Technically it was my idea. But, I needed to tell you how I felt about you."

He kissed her, then received a playful slap to the cheek.

"Nice try, Mr. CSI, but I just played along," Morgan teased him. They began to chase each other throughout the hotel and into the patio, where the eight-foot-deep pool was.

The chase seemed fine until Morgan slipped in some water and fell into the pool, vest on.

Greg couldn't stop laughing. She got out of the pool, and used all her strength to pull Greg in, who was trying hard to stay dry. But she was stronger and pulled him in.

They headed back to the lab, wearing embarrassing beach towels when they walked in. Everyone cracked up, and Morgan shot her new boyfriend a look that said, This was your idea. I will kill you.

**Rule 6: Greg and Morgan are forbidden to go undercover as a married couple.**


	7. Finlay, Henry, Russell

***Dedicated to Noodle The Albino Python.***

Finlay and Henry had been called into Russell's office for the second time that week. But the Supervisor couldn't bear to see any of the team leave- he liked them too much.

Now, Finlay kept biting her lip, nervous about what her boss was going to say. She remembered how much fun she had with her co-worker in Hodges's lab. They had been rapping a song, and Morgan had burst out laughing at the sight of her colleagues horrible attempt to sing.

They had been singing '23', and Finlay had made a horrible imitation of Miley Cyrus.

"Put on my J's and dance the whole night away, I'm naughty by nature like I'm hip-hop hooray, my hands in the sky, I wave 'em from side to side, my feet on the floor, I'm 'bout to turn up now," Finlay had sung.

Henry joined in saying, "Pro athlete I'm not no wannabe. Waitress asked how many bottles?

I said 23."

Unfortunately, Russell had walked in after Finlay said, "I'm naughty by nature."

"My office, now," he said, interrupting her and Henry.

But as Finlay walked down the hall towards Russell's office, she couldn't help but eavesdrop on her boss rapping Henry's part of the song.

As she entered the office, she sat down and pretended like she didn't hear her boss rapping. He didn't even yell at her or Henry. But unfortunately, she ruined the moment.

"What's your excuse for being immature this time, Finlay?" Russell had asked.

"It seemed like a good idea at the time," she replied.

Henry couldn't control his laughter, with Finlay joining in at the sight of Russell's slightly ticked off face.

After getting a warning from Russell, Finlay knew why it was a bad idea to mess around with the boss.

**Rule 7: "It seemed like a good idea at the time," is not a valid excuse to say to your boss after being immature.**


	8. Catherine, Greg, Hodges, Sara, Grissom

Major renovations had been done to the Crime Lab. Three of the conference rooms had been removed and turned into a bullpen, along with a large screen to project pictures of the victims, suspects, and crime scenes.

Grissom still hadn't arrived at work, and Catherine was running a little late. But she arrived, her jacket in one hand, and her usual strawberry smoothie in the other.

"Good evening," Cath said as she took her seat at her desk.

"Evening," both Sara and Greg replied. Sara had a pen in her hand and Greg was reading a piece of paper.

He put the paper down on his desk. "You seen any BartBaker videos lately?"

Catherine noticed that Sara couldn't stop smiling. "Did I miss something?" the redhead asked.

The brunette acted nonchalant. "Nope, just small talk. And is that a new skirt?"

"New Year's resolution. I'm washing my skirts in a separate load from my jeans."

Greg suddenly burst out laughing. He turned to Catherine and smiled.

She suddenly opened her desk drawer and began looking through her "crap collection" of things. Whatever she was looking for wasn't inside.

"You looking for 'Catherine's New Year's resolutions?'" Greg asked, holding up the paper.

"You went into my desk?!" she exclaimed, noticing that Sara couldn't stop smiling.

"And look at that, number three, 'lock my desk every night.' You already failed!"

"Give me that!"

"Who makes up a resolution to stop watching BartBaker videos?" Sara chimed in.

"You saw my resolutions, Greg, what are yours?" Catherine said.

"He isn't drinking coffee or eating chocolate!" Hodges piped up. He had just entered the new bullpen.

"I did not say that, but not drinking coffee sounds like a good idea," Catherine replied.

"Not you Cath, Grissom stopped."

"Grissom never makes New Year's Resolutions," Greg said.

"I overheard him talking to Russell. Grissom's got a doctor's appointment tomorrow and he's not allowed to have caffeine until after the appointment."

"That does not seem like a good idea," came Sara's response.

However, no one was noticing Grissom coming around the corner and walking towards the bullpen.

"The guy's scary enough even if he's had caffeine," Hodges continued. "I can't even imagine what it would be like if he didn't have it. It would be like a dog getting its food taken away."

Sara stopped smiling and began rapidly tapping her red pen against her chin. Grissom was standing right behind Hodges, who suddenly got the realization.

Catherine gave the Trace Tech a look that said, "You're screwed."

Hodges's eyes widened. "I'm not turning around," he said, embarrassed.

"Good idea, Hodges," Grissom replied.

The Trace Tech shut his eyes and folded his hands behind his back. He began to walk away from the bullpen.

"Nice analogy," Greg said to his extremely embarrassed co-worker.

"Thanks," the Tech replied, continuing his walk of shame until he turned the corner and headed off to his lab.

**Rule 8: Greg is not allowed to go into Catherine's desk and steal her New Year's resolutions paper, while Hodges is not allowed to compare Grissom to an animal.**


	9. Russell, Sara, Finlay, Hodges

***A/N: Thank you so much for your reviews, favorites, and follows! :) It keeps me going. This next one-shot has to deal with a movie that I really enjoy. Lines from the movie will be in bold.***

Sara and her two girlfriends were planning to be silly during shift. They had to create a fire using the chemicals in Hodges's lab.

After gathering a few of the guys, Sara prepared to re-enact the scene.

She, Nick, Hodges, and Henry were leaning up one of the Crime Lab's hallway walls. Finlay was laughing evilly and holding a stick of wood in her hand, covered in a burn-resistant fluid.

**"Well, ring around the rosy, a pocketful of spears, thought you'd be pretty foxy, didn't you? Well, the last to go, we'll see the first three go before her. And her mangy little dog too!"** Finlay said, walking over to the fire. She set the wood on fire and walked close to Hodges, whose shirt was also covered in the flame-resistant liquid.

**"How about a little fire,** Hodges?"

After setting his shirt on fire, which also set off the smoke alarm, the Tech began screaming, **"Help! I'm burning! I'm burning! I'm burning!"**

Sara began panicking, looking for any available water. She ran into Hodges's lab and found a beaker full of water.

Russell had heard the commotion and spotted Hodges running around in circles with some of his sleeve on fire.

The boss then spotted Sara running towards the scene with a beaker, who then threw the water on Hodges.

**"Don't throw that water!"** Finlay said, but was hit in the face with some of the water. Screaming, she said, **"You cursed brat! Look what you done! I'm melting, melting!"**

Finlay fell to the floor, with everyone applauding for Sara and her heroic actions.

"BACK TO WORK!" Russell shouted.

The burning piece of wood was taken care off and Ecklie demanded an explanation from Russell as to why his own team members were setting things on fire.

**Rule 9: The team is forbidden to re-enact the "I'm melting!" scene from The Wizard of Oz.**


	10. Nick, Warrick, Greg

***A/N: This is part one of a three-shot. I will posting part one today, then doing one rule from someone else. Then, I will post part two. This is a version of The 3 Stooges short, An Ache in Every Stake. I have seen this short a million times and it's funny every time I watch it.***

***A/N #2: When you come across anyone getting hit in the head with a tool in this three-shot, you have to imagine that they have unbreakable heads. Because if this was real, they would all be dead.***

It was one of the hottest days in Vegas. Warrick, Nick, and Greg had landed themselves a part-time job delivering ice blocks to people in the city. They unfortunately had to ride a horse with a large wagon on the back that carried the ice blocks.

The three CSIs had fallen asleep in the wagon as the horse pulled up in front of a house that had a sign saying, 'Vegas Ice Block Delivery.'

The horse rang the bell, hoping to wake the three men up. But, none of them had gotten out onto the streets, so the horse stood up on its hind legs. The wagon was angled downward, and it sent Nick and Warrick tumbling into the street, with both of them landing on their behinds.

Nick shook his head and helped his co-worker get to his feet.

"Where's the other one?" Nick said, with Warrick shrugging his shoulders.

"Guys, help!" came a voice from inside the wagon. The two men turned their heads and saw Greg, his head trapped in a see-through block of ice.

"Defrost me!" he said.

Nick and Warrick grabbed him by his feet and pulled him out of the wagon, causing him to land on his behind hard.

"Get me out!" Greg continued.

"Get the tools," Nick demanded Warrick, who grabbed the chisel and ax.

Stokes took the chisel and prepared to make a hole at the top of the block, but Greg wanted a hole so that he could breathe. After pounding on the ice for a minute, it only needed a couple of hits to fall to the ground.

Nick hit the ice with the ax twice, freeing Greg.

"Thanks guys, I was freezing," Sanders replied.

The other men pulled him to his feet.

"I'll warm ya up," Stokes said, smacking Greg on the head with the chisel.

"Ouch!" Sanders replied. Looking at the object, he said, "Hey, look, you bent the chisel."

"I'll straighten it out," Nick continued, smacking Greg with the chisel again.

"Ouch!"

"Go deliver that ice!"

Sanders used a clamp to keep the ice from slipping, but as he walked past the house, he noticed 10 milk bottles at the bottom of the front steps.

He released the ice down the cement walkway, watching it collide with the bottles. He earned his ninth strike.

As he marked down his latest strike on a paper attached to a clipboard, he didn't notice that a slightly annoyed Nick had walked up behind him.

"Oh gosh," Sanders said once he noticed his co-worker.

"What are you doing?" Nick replied.

"I got a perfect score!"

"No, you need one more strike, you idiot," Stokes said, slapping his co-worker.

Sanders slapped him back and ran into the wagon.

After five minutes, the three men arrived at another house, but there was at least 100 stairs to climb to reach the top of the hill. They saw a woman at the top, who wanted a block of ice. Nick was the first person to reach the back of the wagon and chop a large block in half. Sanders used another clamp to grab one-half of the block. Since the ice was a little heavy, he tried bringing it over his shoulder, but hit Nick on the head in the process.

"Ay!" Stokes cried.

"Hey, you almost broke the ice!" Sanders said.

"I'll break your neck."

Sanders immediately took off for the stairs, running up them pretty quickly.

Stokes headed back to where Warrick was standing around, watching the scene before him.

"What are you doing just standing around? Get that ice cut in half!" Nick said. He stood behind Warrick, who didn't realize that his co-worker was there. Brown brought the ax over his head and hit Nick.

"OUCH!" Stokes cried. He was holding one of the clamps.

"I'm so sorry, Nick, I didn't realize you were standing there!"

"It's ok, bro, accidents happen."

Stokes took the clamp and pinched Warrick's ears.

"Ow, ow ow!" Brown cried.

Nick quickly pulled the clamp back, causing his best friend to let out a loud, "OUCH!"

Meanwhile, Greg had reached the top of the stairs and prepared to give the woman her ice block. But...he didn't have the ice.

"Here you go, ma'am; where should I put it?" he asked.

"Why don't you put the piece in your pocket?" she responded.

Greg gasped once he realized that his ice had melted.

"Hey, Nick, look!" he shouted.

Stokes grabbed another ice block and used the clamp to keep it from breaking. Warrick had climbed up a third of the stairs.

Nick ran up the first third, then handed the ice off to Brown, who ran up the second part. He gave the ice to Greg, who ran to the top of the hill and pointed out that the block hadn't melted.

"Hey guys, look, I made it!" he shouted to his two best friends, but had unknowingly spread the clamp apart, causing the ice to fall onto the ground and break into pieces.

"I'm going to-" Nick began, but Greg interrupted him.

"I got an idea. Let's put the ice in the icebox and then bring it up the hill."

"Ok, then, get going," Stokes continued, slapping both Warrick and Greg.

**Rule 10: Nick, Warrick, and Greg are not allowed to deliver ice blocks as a part-time job.**


	11. Finlay, Ecklie

***A/N: Another chapter dedicated to Noodle the Albino Python.***

Work was often sometimes very boring. It was so boring that the CSIs often watched TV while they worked on the case.

Today, it was Wednesday, and it was 9 PM, the exact airing time of _Criminal Minds._ It was Finlay's favorite show because she learned different techniques to use at work.

However, she remembered that she had a bag of chocolate in her pocket, often used in exchanging confessions from suspects or persons of interest.

She headed into the interrogation room and sat across from a suspect in a murder case.

"I'll give you an entire Hershey's bar if you tell me where you were between the hours of 9-10 PM on Sunday the 15th," Finlay said.

"I didn't kill her!" the suspect snapped, outraged.

She showed him the chocolate bar, and immediately his mood changed.

"Tell me where you were and the bar's yours."

But just as he took the chocolate, Ecklie burst into the room.

"CSI Finlay, just what do you think you're doing giving a SUSPECT a reward?"

"I wasn't; I was just about to get a confession from him. I've done this before, and it's worked."

"Sidle, get in here and show Ms. Finlay how to _properly_ interrogate a suspect."

But then, Ecklie noticed that Finlay had written on a piece of paper where the man had been on the night of the murder.

She gave him a look that said, _Told you I could get a confession out of him._

"Why were you giving him chocolate in the first place?"

"Because _Criminal Minds_ is on and I don't want to miss it."

"Well, I don't care, get back to work and act like an adult."

**Rule 11: Finlay is not allowed to offer suspects chocolate in exchange for a confession because her favorite TV show is on and she doesn't want to miss it.**


	12. Warrick, Greg, Nick

***A/N: This is part two of the three-shot.***

Nick, Greg, and Warrick had been on the run from a man whose cakes they had destroyed. But, they had unfortunately taken shelter in the man's house. After making a horrible dinner, since neither one of them really knew how to cook, they decided to make a cake for dessert. Nick had been in charge of making the cake, and had added way too much baking powder, causing the cake to rise high in the pan.

Hearing the timer beep, Warrick asked, "I wonder if it's done?"

"What do you think?" Nick asked, pulling the oven door open. A high cake, baked alright, was ready to be taken out and cooled. But Warrick needed to check if the cake was done. Instead of sticking a toothpick inside, he took a fork and stabbed the side of the cake, causing the air inside to deflate, leaving the two men a dented and flat cake.

"Now look what you did; you deflated it!" Nick said, slapping Warrick on his head. Brown stumbled backwards while Nick, not bothering to put on gloves, put both hands in the oven and pulled out the cake.

"Ow ow ow!" Stokes cried, after setting the cake on the kitchen table.

"Hey, we should blow it up again," Brown said.

"Give me the gas pipe."

But Brown decided to be funny and give himself the gas. Nick was even more ticked off and grabbed the pipe.

"Not you, the cake! I will kill you later myself."

Nick found the hole the Warrick had made and began re-inflating the cake. Greg came into the kitchen and was startled by the fact that a cake was being blown back up to its "normal" size. When the cake was a good size again, Nick told Greg to put the icing on.

Sanders started off well, with the icing going on relatively easy. But then, an air pocket trapped the icing inside the bag.

He tried twice to get the icing out, but it was stuck. On his third attempt, he squeezed the bag with all his strength, destroying the air pocket...but covering Stokes's face in icing.

**Rule 12: Warrick is forbidden from checking to see if cakes are done and Greg is forbidden from icing them.**


	13. Ecklie, Sara

***A/N: This is dedicated to dani-lyn.***

Sara was sitting in the interrogation room across from a suspect who was groaning in pain. He had been shot in the leg, and his wound had been bandaged up. However, Sara was getting annoyed at the suspect. He began asking for acetaminophen.

"You're not getting any pain meds until you tell me why you were tampering with a crime scene!" she snapped. His groaning was driving her nuts.

"I wasn't tampering with anything!" he said. "I was trying to see who the victim was!"

"You clearly were touching evidence that could put an innocent person in jail!"

Suddenly, she felt her phone buzz. She opened up a text from Nick, who had sent her a video of Russell shooting the suspect in the leg. It had been remixed with hilarious effects. Sara burst out laughing, which attracted Ecklie.

"Ms. Sidle, interrogate the suspect or I will do it myself," he said.

"Sorry, boss," she replied.

But she couldn't stop thinking about the video. Maybe Russell should have chased the suspect instead of shooting him.

**Rule 13: Shoot first then interrogate is not a good idea.**


	14. Greg, Nick, Warrick

***A/N: This is the final part of the three-shot.***

The guys were still trying to hide from the man whose cakes they had ruined. After the new cake was blown back up with gas, Greg had decided to go out into the living room and join the party. He walked over to the punch bowl and began to pour himself a glass, when a voice asked, "What are you doing?"

"Nothing," Greg said, then freaked out when he realized that Nick was the person who had asked him the question.

In Greg's state, he accidently spilt his punch on the sofa, which dripped onto a woman's bare shoulder and dress. She screamed and he jumped back. Angry, Nick said, "Why you little rabbit!", then shoved his best friend. Greg stumbled backwards and fell onto a lounge chair, which broke under the force of him landing on it. Unbeknownst to Greg, a spring had stuck to the back of his jeans.

A brown-haired woman heard the chair break and came around the corner.

"Are you hurt?" she asked.

"Absolutely not. Let's dance."

He took the woman's arm and began to dance around the woman. But, he quickly bumped into the man whose cakes were destroyed. Unknown to both men, the spring was still attached to Greg's jeans, while now hooked onto the end of the man's suit jacket.

"Pardon me," the CSI said.

"Certainly," the man replied, going back to his conversation with the woman he was talking to earlier.

As Greg began to get farther away from him, the spring could only stretch so far. It reached its limit, so Greg's grip on the woman's hand was released and he slid on his feet across the floor, heading straight for the man's back. Greg bumped into him and the two men looked at each other strangely. The CSI groaned in frustration, then hurried back to his dancing partner. But the spring was still attached, so once again it reached its stretch limit. Greg slid towards the man and hit him in the back for the second time. The CSI groaned, then said, "You're really getting on my nerves."

He was finally able to reach his partner for the third time, but the spring was still attached! Greg slammed into the man again and groaned even louder. The CSI ran towards his partner, which created enough force for the spring to unhook from the man's jacket. Greg stumbled forward and grabbed onto the woman's shoulders, which made her upset. She slapped Greg a couple of times, then left the house.

**Rule 14: Greg is not allowed to dance with a partner if there is a spring attached to the back of his jeans.**


	15. Sara, Morgan, Russell, Finlay

***A/N: I have actually done this event before. (Just not with the drugs!) And this happened in middle school. Me and a bunch of other students did this to our vice-principal (at his consent, of course.)***

Sara and Morgan had come up with an idea that would probably frame Hodges in the end and get him in trouble. In the tech's lab, there was a cupboard full of prescriptions. Everyone had their bottles labeled and they were kept away in the cupboard throughout shift.

While Hodges left to go on his meal break, Morgan and Sara snuck into his lab and found the cupboard. They saw individual shelves with the person's name on them, clearly defining whose pills were whose.

"I found them!" Morgan said, holding up a bottle of Russell's sleeping medication. Sara ran into her boss's office and found it empty. The blond quickly crushed up the dosage (two pills) and then brought them into the office. Sara stirred it into his coffee and the two CSIs made sure that there was no trace of the sleeping pill or them being there.

Within a half hour, Finlay came back from her coffee break and found Russell passed out in his office.

Nick, Henry, and Greg started cracking up. They knew what Sara and Morgan had done.

"It's not funny!" Finlay snapped. "He's passed out!"

"You haven't seen what we're going to do," Sara said. The three guys lifted the unconscious Russell and carried him out into the hallway.

Sara and Morgan got Hodges and Phillips to participate in the...activity. After about three rolls of duct tape, Russell had been secured, and the CSIs started laughing at the sight of their Supervisor.

Other CSIs from swing-shift, who were leaving, saw Russell, and also started laughing. The boss heard the laughter...and discovered that he had been taped to a wall.

"What the-?" he asked. "Help! Get me down! This is not funny. You're all not getting paid for the next week!"

The CSIs couldn't stop laughing.

**Rule 15: Russell is not to be knocked out with sleep pills, then duct-taped to a wall.**


	16. Greg, Team

It was time to eat, and Sara was starving. She remembered making a PB and J sandwich earlier that evening. Russell and Ecklie were in another conference room, eating their meals.

Greg brought his stereo in from the lab and suddenly noticed Sara's sandwich.

"What kind?" he asked.

"My sandwich?" she replied. "PB and J."

"IT'S PEANUT BUTTER JELLY TIME!" he shouted, starting the music.

As he began to dance around crazily, Sara found it hard to laugh and eat her food at the same time.

"This song is so annoying," Morgan replied. "But's it's catchy."

No one seemed to notice that Russell had arrived back at the Lab...and was now walking straight towards the slightly noisy room.

The two men opened the door and found the entire team being crazy. Sara was eating a sandwich and finding it hard to control her laughter. Greg and Morgan were spraying each other with water, and Nick was dancing around in a banana costume. The rest of the team was clapping their hands and screaming.

The party went well until Henry accidently sprayed Russell in the face with water. The DNA tech's eyes widened, and he immediately took off for the parking lot.

**Rule 16: The team is not allowed to fool around to 'Peanut Butter Jelly Time.'**


	17. Sara, Henry

***This song contained a swear word, so I took it out.***

Henry was in his car, on the way to the latest crime scene. He often blared music while he drove, and today, "LA Love" by Fergie was playing. Henry first heard the song while Morgan was playing it in her lab as she sorted through the evidence.

_Uh, tell 'em where I'm from_

_Finger on the pump make the sixth straight jump from SoCal_

_Hollywood to the slums_

_Chronic smoke get burnt by the California sun_

_On the west side east coast where you at_

_Just got to New York like a net on a jet_

_To London, to Brazil, to Quebec_

_Like the whole d- world took effect to Ferg_

_Tell 'em_

Henry was busy rapping the song, doing a horrible impression of Fergie, and didn't notice that Sara had been hiding in the back seat of his car, recording his terrible singing.

Once he arrived at the scene, he prepared to get out of the car, when he turned around and screamed at the sight of Sara in the back seat.

"Sara! What are you doing here?" he exclaimed.

"Oh, nothing, just watching a video of you singing really bad," she said, showing him the video.

"NO! Sara, delete that!"

**Rule 17: Henry is not allowed to sing "LA Love" by Fergie on the way to a crime scene.**


	18. Wendy, Grissom, Catherine

***Dedicated to all the Big Bang Theory fans.***

Wendy and Catherine were sorting through evidence, when the red-haired CSI opened up a new Internet browser, then pulled up a certain video of her favorite sitcom, The Big Bang Theory.

"What are you doing?" Wendy exclaimed. "You do realize how much trouble we'll get in, don't you?"

"No, we won't," Cath responded. "I've been wanting to try this trick out for a long time."

"And what's that?"

"Watch me."

Catherine left the lab and walked up to Grissom's door. She giggled softly, then raised her hand up and prepared to knock on the door.

KNOCK-KNOCK-KNOCK, "Grissom," Catherine said. KNOCK-KNOCK-KNOCK, "Grissom." KNOCK-KNOCK-KNOCK, "Grissom."

Her Supervisor came out of his office, giving her the strangest look.

In her lab, Wendy burst out laughing.

"Catherine, you only have to knock once," Grissom replied.

"I know, but Cooper does it and it's funny."

"Well, just don't do it again."

**Rule 18: Catherine is not allowed to knock on Grissom's door three times like Sheldon Cooper.**


	19. Morgan, Greg, Henry, Sara, Nick, Russell

***Dedicated to Noodle the Albino Python.***

Morgan and Greg walked into work that evening, only to become victims of name-calling.

"Grody," Henry called out.

"Morganders!" Sara replied, laughing her head off.

"Who's Grody?" Morgan asked, confused.

"You and Greg!" Nick replied. "We all ship you two together. You guys should go out."

"No, I don't have feelings for him in that way," she replied.

"You're blushing! You're denying it!"

"I am not! I don't love Greg. I like him only as a friend!"

"Yes you do! Don't deny it!"

Russell came out of his office, annoyed at the fact that his CSIs were acting like little children.

"What's going on this time?" he asked.

"Morgan likes Greg more than a friend, so the rest of us came with a funny name for them. But she hates it," Nick said.

"Maybe she doesn't like being called names," Russell replied. "We don't do that here in the Lab. If I catch you calling anyone names ever again when someone doesn't like it, there will be consequences. Understood?"

"Yes boss," the CSIs said.

"Good. Now get back to work."

**Rule 19: You will not call people by their "Ship name."**


End file.
